How To Cope
by Spirit of Sirius
Summary: Sharmen. It's a couple of years after the nonewedding. Carmens POV.
1. Chapter 1

It's been two years. Two years, 5 months and 17 days to be exact. Two years, 5 months and 17 days since she left you on your fucking weeding and it still hurts like a damn motherfucker. It still feels like it was yesterday that you put your dress on and got your hair and makeup done. That you looked in the mirror and for the first fucking time in your life felt completely and utterly pleased about your appearance, because despite all the looks men and woman threw at you, you always felt self-conscious.

You still walk around with that image of yourself in your head so that you get quite a shock every time you see your reflection now. You gained a shit load of weight in those two and a half years, because all you ever do now is sit in front of the TV and eat junk food. Some take drugs to forget, others fuck the pain away. You deal stuffing great amounts of sweets into your body.

Suddenly you realize how fat you've become lately and the old anger flashes up. It's all her fault! If she hadn't left How many fucking times have you said or thought that sentence? The reasonable part of you thinks that maybe things would have turned out just fine, had you returned at least one of her 3 million calls, but the other isn't willing to take any blame on your misery. It doesn't matter anyways. Shane has given up on trying to reach you a long time ago and now you have no idea how or where she is, so you wonder Did she find another woman and got married? Did she have kids? Did go back to her old dating habits? After all that's what she did after Cherie Jaffe and you can't help but wish that her heart is still broken over you.

You never returned any of your friends calls either and somewhere along the months they stopped calling too, so it's quite a shock when you answer the phone and instantly recognize Jenny's voice.

"Carmen? It's me Jenny. Please, don't hang up."

"Jenny? Wow, it's been a while!

"Listen, I know you don't want to hear it, but this is very important. Shane got shot. Doctors did everything they could, but she's in a coma now. They don't think she'll wake up."

Your heart skips a beat, then two. A lump is forming in your throat and you start seeing black spots. That's when you remember to breath.

"Carmen? Are you still there?"

"Why are you telling me this?" you manage to whisper.

"I really don't want to talk about this on the phone. How soon do you think you can make it too our place?"

Now you're really freaking out. Going back to that house, where you lived, argued and fucked with Shane? Where the happiest memories of your life are buried? No freaking way!

"I'll be there in an hour!"


	2. Chapter 2

There's a dull pain in your head as the back of it hits the wooden door behind you. You wince for a second then you start to giggle. Alcohol always made things funnier then they actually were. Whatever. You don't care about pain right now. What you DO care about is the reason you banged the back of your head against the door. The reason your breathing just keeps going faster with every second. The reason your panties are just so goddamn wet. The reason you're going to have a hickey the size of a ping-pong ball on your neck tomorrow┘

You tangle your fingers into that tight mane of black hair and pull her face away from your neck. Just enough so you can look into her eyes.

"Fuck! Just open the fucking door already, will you? We can't just fuck in the middle of the fucking street!"

She grins at your impatience, takes the keys out of her pocket and before you know it she's pushed you on the sofa, and ripped off your clothes.

She seems to be everywhere at the same time. Her tongue is playing with your ear, one hand is on your breast, rubbing your nipple, her thigh is between your legs pressing against your twat, her other hand is rubbing up and down your ass and you have goose bumps all over the incredibly sensitive skin by now.

You're not really a moaner in bed, so the only sound you hear is your ragged breathing. Well that and the desperate pounding of your heart. It's pumping so fucking fast that if you'd care you might actually get scarred. Ok, and then there's that sound┘ The same sound soap makes when you wash your hands, but it's really her mouth sucking and lapping at your already rock hard nipple.

Ok, so maybe trying to concentrate on your hearing is not the best way to distract yourself and god knows you need to, because if you don't you are going to cum and she hasn't even taken off her clothes yet.

She doesn't seem to care about that though, because the hand that was rubbing your ass has somehow found it's way into your crack and is now rubbing your asshole and it's more teasing than you can take and you want to scream and beg and cry, but you can't catch your breath long enough to do so.

And then suddenly there're fingers in your core fucking you with fast and hard strokes and there's a tongue working on your clit like a drum roll and you can feel the hardest orgasm of your life building up inside of you...

"Fuck, Shane I'm going to"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The insistent honking of the Truck behind you finally jerks you out of your memories You've been sitting in your car half an eternity now, starring at the house you used to call home.

It takes one final honk from the guy behind you to realise you should get off the street.

You slam the door of your car shut, walk up the stairs and are about to knock, when suddenly you can't breathe. A lump is forming in your throat and can't go in there. You just CAN'T! So, you lean your back against the door and slide down until you're sitting on the door mat. A moment. You just need a moment to breathe you think as you bang your head against the hard wood of the door.


End file.
